Monday, January 9, 2012

Be Careful What You Pray For...

...or so the saying goes. I used to edit my prayers because the cliche echoed in my head. I decided though if I truly want to become who the Lord wants me to be, then I'm going to have to pray without fear. So, a few weeks ago I took a deep breath and prayed the Lord would show me my heart and He did (relentlessly, yet gently). Let me just say "yuck." Issues popped up - issues I thought I dealt with a while ago.

Let me start by saying this: I know the Lord has worked in all areas of my life. I can look back at where I once was and where I am now and see growth and maturity. But there are times when I compromise or when these issues sneak back into my life because I'm not keeping a vigilant watch. That's what I'm dealing with now. I tend to be selfish, less generous, easily angered, and so on. I know this to be true because my behavior surprised me at times when tested. For example - rebellion. I know I should be writing more, but hey, I want to do something else instead, so I will (cue the petulant child).

In Psalm 139:23-24, David writes "Search me God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (NIV) Thankfully, the Lord will work on those who want to be changed. That's me - I want to be changed. I figure the less yucky issues I have in my heart, then the more the Lord can fill my heart with Him. His ways become my ways.

Despite not liking what I saw - I am grateful. I am battling less with my self and I feel more at peace. So, are you going to be careful about what you pray for?