Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Little Disconnected

Well, I've done it again. I've let life's changes interrupt my spiritual life. Don't get me wrong - I've prayed and thanked God for several things, but I still feel disconnected. And it shows. I am quickly angered by little things. My patience level is low. The words out of my mouth are not loving, but rather snippy. My thoughts consist more of to-do lists instead of meditations on the Lord.

Throughout scripture, we are reminded to remember the Lord - His deeds, miracles, commands, and words. When I've read these scriptures in the past, I've thought to myself, "well, of course, who could forget the Lord?" Now I know from experience. It's not that I've forgotten about Him, but I've neglected Him. Through my negligence though, I have forgotten to praise Him when times are tough and to pray to Him through a difficult situation. At one point this week, I even asked myself "what's wrong with me?" That's when the Spirit reminded me - "You haven't been seeking the Lord."

In Numbers 15:38 - 40, the Israelites are commanded to "make tassels on the corners of your garments with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the LORD, that you may obey them...(NIV)" That gives me an idea - make something to physically remind me of the LORD and his commands and to stay connected.

Staying connected requires more than just a reminder though, it requires work on my part. I need to set apart time for prayer and worship, meditation on the LORD and His words, and reflection. I need to do what Brother Lawrence did - practice the presence of God. I need to seek the Lord.

I can't wait for my life to settle down before practicing His presence because life may never settle down. In fact, as the past few weeks have shown me, I need to stay connected to the Lord at all times. Otherwise it's not pretty.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Turned Upside Down

Two and a half years ago, my family and I relocated to another state. This was a difficult move during a difficult time. Of course, like most people, I questioned the wisdom of this move. Two and a half years later, I thank the Lord for His wisdom.

When I decided to stay home and raise my children (two years before the move), I stopped writing. Actually, I was burned out. I figured writing was something I did before kids and I was fine with that conclusion. Looking back, I realize I slipped into a rut. I got stuck in the daily routine. Running errands, doing chores around the house, paying bills, and so on. I didn't notice this though until we moved.

Relocating to Colorado in December 2007 definitely shook me out of my routine. It forced me to leave my comfort zone and meet new people. I no longer had extended family nearby to help me with the kids. I also had to learn how to drive in snow and find new routes. I had to find new places to shop for groceries and clothes. Most importantly, I realized, through lots of prayer, that I wasn't living my entire purpose. Yes, God made me to be a wife and a mother, but He also created me to write. That is the talent He gave me. When reviewing Proverbs 31, I noticed the woman completed her purpose. She was a wife and a mom, but she also used her talents to help her family (see Proverbs 31:16 and 24).

As a result, I joined a writer's group, started a year-long review of the creative writing process, started this blog, and even submitted an article for publication (though it wasn't accepted). I even joined the madness of NaNoWriMo and tried to write a 50,000-word novel in a month.

Now, we have moved back to where we were originally. The past few months have been a bit chaotic, and I look forward to setting a routine. I know routine is a good thing (particularly with kids), but I need to be awake for the process. I even need to shake it up now and then to avoid settling. I carry the lessons I learned in Colorado and am excited about applying them here. I feel my passion for writing again. It took a move to another state to shake up my life and I'm grateful for it.