Sleepwalking

Ephesians 5:13-15 "But everything exposed by the light becomes visible - and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said 'Wake up Sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.' 15 Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise." (NIV)

Lately I've been re-thinking how I live my life - what virtues I possess and what character traits I want to instill in my children. I think the Lord is using homeschooling to open my eyes even more to His will and purpose for life (homeschooling - apparently it's not just for kids).

I will admit though, it is a struggle at times to choose to do what is right instead of what I want to do. Though, ultimately, I want to be obedient to His call, I also fight against my flesh. Okay, at this point fight may be too strong of a word. It's more like the flesh calls, I say "well..." and then run right to it; whether if it's eating that bowl of ice cream or choosing to sleep in instead of praying. Life is about choices.I will admit, I tend to make some unwise choices. At times, it's as if I'm on auto-pilot because I've made the same unwise choices so many times. But, now the Lord is opening my eyes to this very dilemma. I like the phrasing of verse 14 "Wake up Sleeper." I feel that's what I've been doing - sleeping through part of this life.

I don't want my children to have to learn the lessons of life the hard way - if possible. I mean, for example, I would prefer they learn to live a healthy, active life while they are young, so that it becomes second nature. Not when they are 50 pounds overweight and HAVE to do it because of a health crisis. I want my children to care for others and realize this world does not center around them while they are young as opposed to becoming an adult and throwing a tantrum when they don't get their own way. I am realizing more than ever that I cannot just teach these virtues, character, and lifestyle traits, but I have to model them as well. But the question becomes "How am I going to model these traits?" Am I going to continue making unwise choices and have my children learn from my poor example or am I finally going to look towards the light of Christ and choose what is right? Further down in Ephesians 5:17, Paul writes "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Actually, I like the Amplified version better: "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is."

Finally, Proverbs 9:10 says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..." I'm beginning to understand that some choices cannot be made while half asleep. I must ask myself "Is this what the Lord wants me to do? Is this the best use of the time He has given me?" It is time to stop sleepwalking.